After the post operative CAT scans were taken-our hope was again deflated. The cancer was inoperable. The primary tumor was back! It was already the size of a golf ball. The cancer in the liver had also grown significantly. We couldn't believe it; all this in three weeks? This news was devastating for the family. We needed to regroup and plan. Vince looked the Doctor right in the eye and said," OK Doc, what do we need to do now?"

Immediate chemotherapy was recommended. Chemotherapy was started the day after the scans were read . Vince knew, we all knew, that the response of this cancer to chemotherapy was poor based on the literature. No other options were left. The chemotherapy left him very weak, tired and nauseous. But a week after his first treatment, he was driving again. He was still determined to beat this cancer. In fact, it was Friday morning , 12 November when he said to me, "Dad, I'm starving. I'll meet you at the Pied Piper Restaurant before you have work today".

Two days later on Monday night Vince had trouble breathing around 3:30 am. We rushed to the hospital but God took him around 5:30 am. It seemed like all of his systems shut down at once. Complications of blood clots and internal bleeding coupled with the weakness of his system from the chemotherapy combined to end his life. It was 16 November 1999 - not even two months after his diagnosis.

Vince's family and friends are now in the process of coping with this tragic loss. It's a day-to-day process

The second gift Vince gave us was caring for others, helping others - even when he was seriously ill. Zach, his nine year old brother, had a birthday party two days before Vince died. Vince wanted to be sure he had a gift for Zach. Vince attended the party and even played video games with one of Zach's best friends who has Down's Syndrome. For part of the party Vince had to watch the boys from a bed because he was too tired to stand . Envision an ill 20 year old laying in a bed in a rec room with 12 screaming nine year olds.

The social workers from Sloan-Kettering Memorial Hospital and our local hospital, who have consulted many cancer patients, were inspired by Vince's desire to help others with cancer and mental illness: he planned to volunteer in the hospitals, talk to local community groups, address school groups. He was making these plans with 50 stitches healing in his abdomen and chest with his legs oozing lymphatic fluid. He wanted others to benefit from his experience-to use his experience to help others.

Vince's desire to give, while he was battling for his own life, has helped me to be more sensitive to the needs of others. Heck, helping others is a way of thanking God for the good health I enjoy.